People for the Ethical Treatment of Plants

I am sure many of you have heard of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), but I have decided it is time in this greenhouse gassed world to create an organization for the rights of the plants. The people for the ethical treatment of plants is the countermeasure for killing the oxygen generating, carbon dioxide reducing plants we all know and love.

I am sure the are vegetarians and vegans out there who would argue with me about the rights of plants vs. animals, but honestly, which is really helping the environment? Is it the methane producing cows, or the green leafy lettuce plant? Yes, I am sure they veggies killers are thinking to themselves that the plant will grow back in a year or so. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. As the temperature of the Earth continues to warm, certain plants are dying off.

Why am I the one person standing up for plants? Because these plants are alive just as much as the chicken that is not smart enough to turn up the leaves to catch the water instead of looking up at the sky and drowning. Dead animals also create carbon emissions...unless of course, they are eaten by the humans trying to turn the world into a green place once again.

Eat those cows, chickens and pigs. It is the green thing to do. Stop using vegetable oil and start using all natural, organic lard. Help reduce the population of cows in India (a sacred animal there that has become a nuisance).

As the founding member of PETP, I ask for meat eaters to unite against the hypocritical tree-hugging plant eaters and tell them you have had enough! Throw that head of cabbage into the yard to seed and break out that pork loin. Tell your congressman that ethanol is NOT the answer but is a cause to the greenhouse effect. Solar power, wind power, and any left over animal methane can be used to power our vehicle and power plants.

I am off to go eat my bacon cheeseburger (no vegetables of course). It's just my little bit to help the Earth.

Comments

Anonymous said…
While I agree that we shouldn't cause the plants any pain, I doubt eating meat is much better. By saving lives, we're killing other lives. We can't weigh the pros and cons of allowing species to live like they're inanimate objects instead of sentient, feeling beings.
I think what we need is to stop bitching about which cause is better and find an alternative to save both, already.
Looks like I'll be living on supplements and vitamin water from now on.
8:48 AM
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