What do you call it?

Why is it, people are so infatuated with body functions? Body functions are things we HAVE to do in order to survive. So when a body function such as farting is performed out in the middle of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum on July 4 weekend, why is it so many people are surprised? It is not like they have a lot of choices.

What brought me to this topic? I have gall stones and it appears I need to have my gall bladder removed. I have consulted with other highly knowledgeable people on my train on this procedure and they have informed me that the surgery itself is not as bad as the after-effect. Apparently, uncontrollable cheese cutting is a side affect of gall bladder removal.

I really could care less if I pass gas in the middle of the elevator, because well, everyone already thinks I am a little bit odd. I do however wonder why the doctors think this is an unnecessary organ and can be removed. It appears to me that it has one function, controlling the barking spiders.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why is it we can have so many different words and phrases for flatulence, and we have only a few words for blinking? Are we as a people so infatuate with green fog that we have to have so many ways to say it?

The Queen claims that my claim to fame is writing about body functions, and yet we perform fewer gaseous anomalies than we blink. Nobody writes about blinking (except for me, right now). Why is this? People blink about 10 times per minute whereas launching an air biscuit happens only 12-25 times a day.

Personally, I don’t understand. Letting one rip has over 160 different words or phrases, and blinking…well, is blinking.

Did you know…


Livestock are a significant contributing factor to the greenhouse effect, accounting for around 20% of global methane emissions. Less than 10% of the total greenhouse gas emissions from livestock is produced by animal flatulence; most is produced by animal burping.

Comments

momofjenmatt said…
Your funny you big old farter. RYC: Thank you. Come back to xanga please.
8:25 PM
Meg said…
I had to share that link with a friend of mine from karate. We take a completely childish joy in laughing at silly things like this!
9:22 PM
Anonymous said…
hi N8... I think it's really odd that people who are married still don't pass gas in the presence of the other; OMG LOML thinks I am a gas machine...
10:18 PM
Anonymous said…
I had my gall bladder out in Dec and I don't have as much gas as I did before but I can't seem to get over the heartburn stage. I can eat about anything with no probs.
11:21 PM
Tina@ SendChocolateNow said…
As long as you don't say, "Pull My Finger," (I can thank my dad for that one) I think you are fine. Gas is gas is gas.

Funny about fart vs. blink.

thanks for the comment, btw.
1:33 AM
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