How to Write a Blog

I have been asked how I come up with the blog topics for my blog. Actually, this is fairly simple. I will either be researching something that came up in conversation, or walking my pet sheep and I will think to myself "how odd is that?" Then I take this idea and without any real direction, start writing...or typing as the case may be.

Then, about 2 minutes into being seated comfortably in my chair in front of the keyboard, I realize I need to go to the bathroom. Be right back.

...

OK, much better. What usually happens is I start with a small idea of what to write about and from there I end up with diarrhea of the fingers. I will sit here and write and write about absolutely nothing while at the same time try to come up with a point to the message I deliver in the form that I am currently delivering it.

I will scratch my head (get your mind out of the gutter), pause for a drink of water, loosen up my fingers and begin. My topics may range from toilet paper to cell phones but in the end, I have a point. Now the point may at times have nothing to do with the topic of conversation (or at least at first you may not think so), but it is still a point.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why don't we have farting competitions? We have pig calling, pumpkin chunkin, burping, hot dog eating, beer chugging, bird calling, bed racing, and Nobel prizes...but we don't have the anus gaseous competition. This is the one body function competition everyone is capable of competing in and possibly even winning. The competitive field would be world-wide. There would be no limitations to how old, or who could enter.

I am certain there are people out there who think they could let off the ultimate, stinky, loud air biscuit...and to be considered the best in the world may just be worth the $5 entry fee. I think someone should put this together. It is just money waiting to be made...and wouldn't that be fun to write about?

Did you know...

Sheep were used to maintain the lawn of the White House during World War I.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I would be champion...and many, many people would agree. If not World champion, or even United States champion, I feel confident enough that I could clear any room in the New England region.

It could be aired on ESPN, with commentary given by veteran fart masters. I see this being big.
5:51 PM
Anonymous said…
To see a world class fart competion, all you have to do is show up on a tuesday night at the bowling alley! There will always be ya ya's ther who will take down even the most confident gas passer! FYI, Sunday the 7th is National Day for Passing Gas according to the American Greetings Desktop Calendar installed on one of my co-worker's PC. There would be a good day to have your competition - just let me knwo so that I can enter!
12:58 PM
Anonymous said…
Hmmm. Interesting premise. You could even have catagories. Longest Fart. Loudest Fart. Wettest Fart. Stinkiest Fart (Not always the loudest, hence the dreaded Silent-but-deadly farts).

However I thing the biggest problem you'd have is finding judges.
1:39 PM
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