IFC Championship 2008



The last entry left a nice residual. Did a little research on a fart competition and found nothing real. I found some funny clips but nothing about a real competition. So, in honor of National Passing Gas day on January 7 (thank you High Priestess), I hereby create the first international fart competition to be held in Chicago, Illinois, United States on January 7, 2008. I just don't have time to pull off 100,000 people in 3 days.

To compete, it will cost you a meager $5.00 US per entry. Once entered, you can compete for one of the following categories per entry:

Longest Fart
Loudest Fart
Funniest Fart
Most Odiferous Fart
Team Fart (Creativity included)

The competition location is yet to be determined, but you can guarantee it will be in a location that contains alcohol, fire extinguishers, and good ventilation.

The pot will be a 50/50. 50% to the contestants, and the other 50% for the ref, bar and whatever other expenses.

Here are the rules:

When called, each competitor will grip the fart post.

At the signal from the referee, the competitor will commence to fart. The competitor will have 20 seconds to begin or will be disqualified.

Dropping soil in the pants is immediate disqualification.

There will be a point system, but I have yet to work out those air bubbles.

The audience is requested NOT to fart as the referree will need to be able to determine odor.

I have looked this up and there is a man in Europe that holds the current World Record duration of 9 seconds. I am sure, Americans have considerably more hot air than our European counterparts.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). When you come to Chicago, do not rent a car. Use the cabs. There are plenty of them in the city and now there is a way to find a cab. How cool is this? Google has created a site that has the current real time locations of cabs and shuttles. Some are even natural gas powered.

Did you know...

The average person produces a half liter of fart gas per day.

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