John Burkholder

It has been a while since I wrote a blog entry. I actually have 6 blog entries sitting in the wings ready to be written. Unfortunately for me, I just don't feel like putting them to "paper." What is it? What causes the changes in my attitude? For now, I blame it on the sunshine. Yes, sunshine. I enjoy the sunlight and long days. Is this what causes writer's block? Is it as simple as the climate? Is it the need to become a shut-in? This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). What do it really matter? I written 156 entries so far... for me. As much as I appreciate my readers, I do this as a form of psychotherapy. This is a way for me to get the stuff that is IN my head...OUT. Sorry this is so short. Did you know... The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

I have what I consider a large Native American nose. I am terribly self conscious about it and try my best not to accentuate it. Unfortunately with it being attached to the front of my face and all, I have a hard time drawing attention away from my nose. Don't wear sunglasses...that eliminates the eyes. Smile...that pulls to the mouth. Whatever you do, avoid my nose. So whenever I even THINK there may be a bat in the cave, I have to figure out a way to excavate the item with as little attention to my nose as possible. Don't you just hate it when your are trying to hold a conversation and all you see is that crusty booger sneaking out from the bottom of the other person's nose? What do you say? How about those people that have the Repunzel nose hairs? Are you tempted to whip out your swiss army knife, flip out the scissors and take a quick snip? You know as a friend you should mention it. But what if it is a job interview? I am afraid I would never hear the question because

I was notified today that my daughter has a new friend named Gust. Gust is about the size of a large ladybug and can only be seen by my daughter. Gust sleeps on the table. Psychology Today reports that a team of Yale University psychologists found that pretend playmates produce a happy and creative adulthood. Led by Jerome Singer; Doesn't support the belief that children with imaginary playmates are shy; Flowering of the imagination. This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). How come adults are not permitted to have imaginary friends? Those who do have friends are considered to have Schizophrenia. They see and/or hear people that nobody else can see or hear. Now I am all confused. It is healthy for children to have imaginary friends, but it is a mental illness if an adult has imaginary friends. Why? If people are not hurting themselves or other people, why can't you have an imaginary friend? Think of how much fun you and you imaginary friend could have? Take yo

The Queen sends me to the store to pick up little items like hamburger buns, milk or organic macaroni and cheese dinners. The problem with me going to the grocer is I am often hungry. Have you ever noticed that you tend to buy things you absolutely would not buy under filled stomach circumstances? Well, I do. I am normally a very practical shopper. When faced with the family sized bag of Oreo cookies, I often wonder what the marketers of these products were thinking... Evil marketing genius: Let's put the Oreo Cookies in the largest container we can find and place it on the end of the isle with a great big "on sale" sign. At night, we will have the store dim down the lights and place the spot lights on our product as some sort of beacon to call the munching masses. Don't get me wrong. I love an Oreo cookie just as much full as I do hungry. The problem is, I really don't NEED the evil artery clogging cookie of doom that I would gladly walk the 3 miles to the grocer

As some readers know, I have a "slight" phobia of running out of toilet paper. Today, I received an email with the following picture attached. As appealing as this looks to the phobic side of me, I really think there may be a problem with the presentation of the marvel in paper products. Who changes the rolls? My wife insists that I do not change the toilet paper rolls when in fact I do. I insist that we always have toilet paper available at all times. Therefore, if I use the last of it, or even think I may end up using the last of it, I put more on the roll. It is our 3 year old daughter that burns through it and doesn't replace. Besides, I am never home to burn through it. This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why is it, they don't sell the Monster rolls you find in the restaurants for residences? Not the sandpaper version, but an Ultra Charmin version. Now that Charmin has started making the Mega roll, that cuts down the amount of changing that

The Queen has been introduced to a large portion of the Pickled Liver and Joliet YaYas. While I was mixing beverages for the first hour after arriving at the party, my Queen apparently imbibed more alcohol than her body could successfully use. This happens to anyone who drinks one time or another. What does this mean to the other person...TAG, you are driving! While everyone else is frolicking and feasting in the festivities, the designated driver's new job is to prevent serious injury of any other people participating in the party. As the Queen moved from the point of silly drunk to I hope she doesn't drown drunk, I have to wonder at what point does the responsibility shift from prevention to party dampener? Is the objective to keep the party or event from turning into the paddy wagon pulling up to load everyone? When you are the designated driver, do you feel like the fifth wheel? Is the designated driver suppose to make sure the other person is not suppose to drink too much?