John Burkholder

On November 1, I walked into a department store to help my daughter buy shoes for work and over the loud speakers I heard Christmas Songs. Did I mention it was November 1? I am not really a person to complain about Christmas songs as I am one of those people who will often stand in the middle of sporting goods singing at the top of my lungs "FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!!!" But when the songs start this early, by the time Christmas comes around, I will certainly be ready to throw every piece of sporting equipment in the store at the speakers. Of course, it may be easier for everyone if they played Thanksgiving music...oh wait...no Thanksgiving songs. Mother's day, Father's day, Valentine's day, Christmas and Halloween all have songs appropriate for it. But Thanksgiving (and black Friday) get chumped by not having music appropriate for the holiday. Let's think about this though, the Natives provided the unfortunate Pilgrims food and showed them how to harvest it. They all

Today is voting day. The candidates are still fighting for votes and most people believe the fight is between Democrats and Republicans. In my opinion, the vote is about the issues. The publicity of the Presidential race has made me come to a rapid realization... Who I vote for is my business. With all of the polling, marketing and emails I have received as of late, I feel the forced misrepresentation of both parties are really not in anyone's interest but the candidates. It is the continuous bashing I think. So, I am going to make this as short as I can... Go vote. I don't care for who...just vote for the person that best fits within your personal beliefs and qualifications. Tomorrow, this will all be over.

A longer rant about another topic that I rarely talk about...but needed to be said. The stock market has been wildly erratic and dropping. To most of the populous, this really has not meaning unless it starts affecting them directly. What means something to everyone is how much they pay in taxes, how much the bread, milk, toilet paper and gas costs, and how much money they make personally. With unemployment rising, local and state governments running out of money, and the continued dollar falling, the citizen is beginning to feel the affects. Credit is harder to get. Houses are plentiful. Construction is down. Energy prices are rising. People are stopping investing in the 401K plans and are sinking it into keeping the status quo, status quo. The holiday season is expected to see huge shortfalls thereby continuing the downward spiral. In a futile effort to regain consumer confidence and restore some political sponsors, the government is going to bail out the banks thereby inserting them

Even though the song read "Our house is a very, very, very fine house", our house is rapidly shrinking. If you have read any previous blog entries, you may know that my 20 year old daughter joined us here in Virginia after being away from us for 3 weeks. Since then, we have been joined by the 18 year old waiting to enter the Navy. Our last house was 2600 square feet not counting the full basement. We now live in 1400 square feet total. When we moved here, we figured this was more than enough room for me, the Queen and the 5 year old. We even have swing space for a child to come visit. Soon, the last of the "out of the house" children will be arriving here to stay with us until she and her boyfriend move into their own place. In the meantime, we are going to move into a slightly larger but better carved up townhouse in the community. It has a garage included. Soon after moving, the eldest will be moving out on her own again. The 18 year old is here until March. Needl

A co-worker/friend of mine and his fiance were brutally attacked in Chicago celebrating her birthday. She was weeks away from getting medical insurance with a new job and they are asking for help. They put together a website about the story and donations: http://www.thewalkingmiracle.com Please help them if you can. I have a few comments on this. The charges for this blatant attack on innocent people have been upgraded to attempted murder which is good. Unfortunately, taxpayers will be paying for their food, clothing, television, play time, bedding, housing, legal services, medical and dental care. The people who committed the crime and placed the innocent woman in the hospital missing 14 teeth and nearly losing her life, get free health and dental care. Meanwhile the woman who nearly lost her life has over $100,000 in medical bills so far and will likely have another $100,000 added to it. Well, of course that makes sense. Reward the criminal, persecute the victim. How messed up is a c

During lunch today, my Queen and I entered the discussion I have honestly been avoiding. The discussion comes down to bringing another life to this world and expanding our family, or not. Now, I normally do not discuss this type of stuff in my blog but I need to type my way through it all. There is a infinitesimally small possibility that my thought processes are wrong and I need to just expand the family. First issue: I am rapidly approaching 42 years of age. When the child graduates from high school, I will have lived 60 years...if I make it that long. The next 18 years are the years my body will begin to break down from the abuse I have handed it over the past 42 years. The last thing I want to do is leave my not yet grown child without a parent much in the same way my father and my older kids mother did. I want to be able to live an active and fruitful life with my child. Second issue: Mobility is something I have desired for quite some time. The ability to throw the family on a pl

Here I am 7 years after the September 11, 2001, and I am still dealing with what happened on that fateful day. The Queen is right though, most of America really has no idea how much of an impact it had on the people of New York, Washington, D.C, or Flight 93. I have written a previous blog entry about September 11. That one day changed my life in more ways than I could possibly imagine. Normally, I do not work on September 11 out of respect for those who were lost. But today, I came to work. I guess it is my way of telling terrorist that I am no longer immobilized by the day itself. I have healed enough to move on and basically tell them to screw themselves. On another note, why is it after 7 years and the occupation of two countries we have still not caught and terminated Osama Bin Laden? Why is it, the intelligence community that works so well at ensuring our security and liberties can't find the number 1 most wanted man in the world? Personally, if the country is willing to crea

Meetups is the term of choice now for social meetings or get- togethers . I personally don't care what it is called. My intent is to meet new people, have some fun, and try mixing my non-social personality with society. So far, I have been successful. I have not alienated anyone with my extreme geekyness . One night a month my geek socializes with other geeks...except I was one of two people at the new technology meetup that was actually working in and on computers. Of the two of us, I was clearly the ubergeek ...which is somewhat sad since Northern Virginia is considered a technology hot-spot. I had to ask them why they went to the meeting if they weren't really new technology gurus. Most often my responses were "I used to work in it" or "we recruit from here." So, I guess the idea of doing a presentation on Exchange 14 would really fall on a small or deaf audience. However, there was drinking involved and I did meet some great people. As of tomorrow nigh

We now live in an apartment that until last week, was incredibly sound-proof. The new "apartment" is really more a townhouse because we have multiple levels. We had neighbors downstairs who have recently moved out but honestly, we did not hear them and they said they didn't hear us. We have a new neighbor next door on our 3rd level. We heard them move in and kept slamming what we thought was closet door against our wall. Last night, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't the closet door. I believe it is the headboard. With the rhythmic vibrations of the wall shaking the pictures, I could hear them go at it. About 25 seconds in, the crescendo of moans and groans turned into screaming for an intense 5 seconds. That guy was definitely having a good time. I swear you could hear him screaming a block over. This bring me to my point, if you are going to be a screamer, don't be a dude. If you are going to be a screamer, last longer than 30 seconds. If you are going t

Being the man of the house and currently the sole provider of income, I find there are times in my day that I need to clean out my blockages of the brain and have a healthy bowel movement. We have 3 bathrooms (2 1/2 if you are a realtor) and for some reason, I am not allowed to poop in any of them. THEY are allowed to poop in them and THEY make the adjacent rooms stink when they do. How fair is that? I am courteous and turn on the fan, spray the anti-poop-smell spray, and yet, the Queen throws a fit if I have to Crap in the Crapper (named after Thomas Crapper, making the flush toilet a household item). The cat is even allowed to drop a load in the downstairs bathroom. I am the man of the house! Hear me roar! I have made some concessions with all of the women in the house. I do not leave the seat up. I turn on the fan. I spray the girlie smell-good stuff in the air. Seriously, do they think their shit don't stink? The women will even let off a fart at the dinner table...or in the va

Today is the lucky day. Need to buy a lottery ticket for tonight. The word for "eight" (八，捌) in Mandarin (Pinyin: bā) sounds similar to the word which means "prosper" or "wealth" (发 - short for "发财", Pinyin: fā). In regional dialects the words for "eight" and "fortune" are also similar, eg Cantonese "baat" and "faat". There is also a resemblance between two digits, "88", and the shuang xi ('double joy'), a popular decorative design composed of two stylized characters 喜 (xi, 'joy', 'happiness'). Telephone number 8888-8888 was sold for USD$270,723 in Chengdu, China. The Summer Olympics in Beijing are scheduled to open on 8/8/08 at 8:08:08pm Lets look at it from a numerologists perspective. 8+8+2008 8+8 = 16 = 1+6 = 7 2+0+0+8 = 10 = 1+0 = 1 7+1= 8 That makes it an 8 day Eight is the number of material success or failure. The number of Karma. Eight has to work hard, and often n

Eddie Izzard is correct. It is a very long word in Scrabble and very impressive when displayed on the board. My Queen and I have been visiting a chiropractor regularly to fix some aches and pains provided by our diet, lack of exercise, and genetics. We came across the good doctors at a street fair in Reston and he had this fancy electrocuting spinal alignment and dissentigration machine. He took one zap at my neck and said I was about to fall over because my head is too big. I blame my huge brain... My Queen also was cooked by the portable electric chair thing and figured she may as well join me on the merry visit. After doing a little research and finding out that the insurance company no longer thinks that chiropractors are closely related to miracle water salesmen, I went to my first appointment and had them xray me from stem to stern. They ran a battery of test to include finding out that I have no reflexes in my right ankle (Didn't realize I could have reflexes in my ankles),

There are several errors that may occur when trying to restore a site using SharePoint Designer. "Cannot find ... exportsettings.xml" is the most common error. This is caused by SharePoint Designer stopping after the first of the exported cmp files is expanded and the software not picking up from the second file and continuing. So far, Microsoft has missed the boat on this fix. It appears the Sharepoint Designer simply doesn't continue the extract (/a) switch when assembling the cmp file for download. I have seen some workarounds out of the web, but they are tedious especially for large sites. Here is what we have managed to come up with... To back up a site, you must have administrator permissions for that site, but you do not require administrative access to the server that is running Windows SharePoint Services 3.0. Go to: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/310618 and download and install to the directory c:\cabsdk. Create a subfolder c:\cabssdk\bin\SharePointBack

As a habit, I tend to steer away from matchmaking people. Fact is, the last time I tried it, they ended up getting married and moved to California. So... I have a very good friend in Virginia we will call 007. He as all of the toys 007 has. He has the computerized home 007 has. He has the vehicles with every possible gadget including missile launchers, and stealth technology that 007 has. He is considerably more geek than 007 but once you know him, he is one of the best friends a person can have. I have mentioned to him that he needs to date. He is creeping up on 40 and is still single. He is extremely non-social making it nearly impossible for contact with any other people. I don't think he is asexual, but it has been so long for him that I believe he may need to turn on the 007 homing beacon to find it. So...what are my options to help out my introverted techno-weenie friend? I could introduce him to someone, but I really don't know that many single women here.I have seriousl

As you may have noticed, my weather bar on the right hand side has changed from having two locations (Herndon, VA and Plainfield, IL) to a single location. No women, I am not available so quit asking. My Queen has been selling and packing. Packing and selling. We are leaving Illinois my three older children, and the Queen and the youngest are joining me in Virginia. This Friday will be my last flight for some time to Chicago, and Sunday will be my last drive from Chicago for quite some time. We are leaving the monstrous house with a monstrous yard and a homeowners assholciation and moving back into a much smaller townhouse in a nice community with 2 pools, fitness center, bocce ball court (whatever that is), and tennis court. We are EXTREMELY close to my office (1.3 miles) and shopping and restaurants are across the road. Mass transportation is outside the gate. The movies are 1.7 mies away. It ROCKS. The Queen has long been putting off moving back closer to her family to avoid mental

OK... I was youtubing beerchastra when that little pop up thing popped up about this boy. So I watched as...as you do. This could weaken anyone.

I am sure many of you have heard of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), but I have decided it is time in this greenhouse gassed world to create an organization for the rights of the plants. The people for the ethical treatment of plants is the countermeasure for killing the oxygen generating, carbon dioxide reducing plants we all know and love. I am sure the are vegetarians and vegans out there who would argue with me about the rights of plants vs. animals, but honestly, which is really helping the environment? Is it the methane producing cows, or the green leafy lettuce plant? Yes, I am sure they veggies killers are thinking to themselves that the plant will grow back in a year or so. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. As the temperature of the Earth continues to warm, certain plants are dying off. Why am I the one person standing up for plants? Because these plants are alive just as much as the chicken that is not smart enough to turn up the leaves to catch th

Good food is my downfall. Once I find something I really enjoy eating, I will certainly take in as much as humanly possible thereby defying the law of physics, anatomy, and biology. It is truly amazing how MANY of the Red Lobster garlic cheese biscuits I can cram into my body and still have room for the fried flounder with rice pilaf. During my childhood, it was stressed that people all over the world were starving to death and that I need to eat ALL of the food on your plate because I was basically taking food out of their mouth and throwing it away. Wow, talk about you guilt trip. Thus, the overeater began. During my childhood and early twenties, overeating never presented a challenge or an issue as my metabolism was very high. Now I am 40, rarely exercise, and can actually down MORE food than my twenties. This makes it very difficult when I am trying to lose weight. I love good food. I have NO problem finishing off the plate. I travel continuously. Fast food is a staple. Sodas are a

So, my Queen has a HUGE fear of snakes. If she sees a snake, she will run screaming at the top of her lungs in any direction (walls not stopping). I personally do not have a fear of snakes. I can see them and I try not to bother them. In my mind snakes can be handled and are no big deal. One of the people I work with we call Green Card has a huge fear of flying cockroaches. Cockroaches in general disturb me, to have them flying around would definitely add them to my fear list. To have cockroaches flying up and landing well, anywhere gives me the creeps. But a couple nights ago, my fear of spiders took over and disturbed me long after. I was actually in a deep sleep when at 3:00AM I was awaken by a small critter crawling up my bare leg in bed. Without being fully awake, my hand took over and in one sweep moved the large brown hairy spider with white stripes from my leg to the bed next to me as it stared at me with it's hundred eyes. I grabbed my blackberry off the bed next to me a f

I have a story I want to share to all of the boys and girls out there in Internetland. This one deals with me...and my Mother-in-law (MIL) that I live with in Virginia. Every morning I have a set schedule to prepare for work. I have two alarm clocks to make sure I do not oversleep my 6:00 start time. I lay in bed for about 2 minutes while my eyes figure out how to open before venturing through the hallway to the shared single bathroom (this is an important part) with clean underwear and pants in hand. I close the bathroom door, turn on the fan and promptly sit down for my first morning pee. Afterwards, I turn on the shower to broil and hop in. 10 minutes later, I am back out and dried. I put on deodorant, brush my teeth, shave (if necessary), wash my face and do the hair cream thing to spike my hair slightly. I put on my pants and exit. I finish dressing in my room, pack my laptop, grab any dishes or trash and drop them in the kitchen. This day threw me off though. The trash can is in

For years I have been getting the finger. This is often a case of someone extremely pleased with my driving and passive aggressive demeanor toward the intellectually challenged. It may be a case of the very helpful teenage youth talking on her cell phone to her VERY best friend behind the counter of the restaurant I just happen to be standing in, waiting for her to look at me to take my order, and me talking at a rather high volume to make sure she can hear me over her other conversation. That is when I am told that I am number 1 in her heart. I lick the side of my cup very slowly and slowly suck on the straw in response. I feel so loved. Now, my wife is insistent that I go get the finger from someone else. This time there will not be any witty repartee, no exchange of glances, no passive aggressive glances. This time, I will have to hum to myself to calm myself from the impending and unwanted finger of a grown man with a latex glove standing behind me. I realize that now that I have p

So the real question is, if the small town grows, will it lose the character that makes it appealing in the first place? Let me start from the beginning. I grew up in a small town in the middle of Illinois called Clinton. The town has a town square, restaurants owned by the locals, three car dealerships (Ford, Chevy, Chrysler) and the major source of income is the nuclear power plant about 7 miles out of town. There are four cities around Clinton. Bloomington to the North 25 minutes, Decatur to the South 25 minutes, Champaign and Springfield are 45 minutes East and West. Basically, if you drew a line on the North and South, East and West, you would place it on Clinton. Clinton has history. Abraham Lincoln made the statement, “you can fool some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time” on Clinton’s town square in front of the courthouse. Abraham practiced law there as well. Clinton was also known for being the home of

For years the Queen has been telling me that I look younger with my hairs cut short. I am one of those people who only gets my hairs cut when it impedes my life. This is much like going to the doctor or dentist, neither of which I would willingly want to go to. For me though it is not the pain of hearing every single hair scream in horror as the clippers get closer to my scalp, it is the fact that I am spending money to have hair cut. Back to my reason for the blog entry...I had my hairs cut. Hairs...off to another tangent. OK, so if you have more than one hair, it is hairs. But one article of lower body clothing is a pair of pants. Huh? If someone could explain how the plurals of each ended up reversed, I would certainly appreciate it. Let's try this again...So my removal of 3/4 of my hairs on my head...another tangent. Why is it grown men will wax themselves? Is it just for vanity? Have men become so vain that they feel that they need to cause extreme bodily harm to themselves? G

In this all important time of debates and discussions concerning Presidential prospects, the anniversary of the war in Iraq, and American Idol contestants, the most important debate of all rages once a year as we approach the Easter weekend. Cadbury Eggs or Peeps?  Personally, I cannot stand the Cadbury egg. This is mostly due to the "yolk" feeling somewhat like snot running down the back of my throat. Texture is important to my gag reflex and that is one texture I can't deal with. Add that feeling to oysters and cream of wheat. As for the Peeps, how sweet is too sweet? Fancy marshmallows covered in iridescent colored sugar. My kids have always had Peeps and love them. I just can't do it. I may as well pour an entire bag of sugar into my mouth. What is it that comes around every year around Easter that just makes the holiday proper? Those EVIL Girl Scouts pushing the cookies on every corner like it was crack cocaine. That trans-fatty goodness is addicting and every ye

My wife is into music and wants me to make her a CD of my favorites for our anniversary (coming shortly). So for my valentine's day present, I decided that I HAD to dedicate some songs: The first is my slightly edited and twisted version of Timbaland's The Way I Are . The Way I Are (feat. QueenSuchandSuch) [Verse 1: N8ivWarrior] I ain't got no money I ain't got no car to take you on a date I can't even buy you flowers But together we'll be the perfect soulmates Talk to me girl [Bridge: QueenSuchandSuch] Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me If we go there, you can still touch my love, it's free We can work without the perks just you and me Thug it out 'til we get it right [Chorus: QueenSuchandSuch & (N8ivWarrior)] Baby if you strip, you can get a tip 'Cause I like you just the way you are (I'm about to strip and I want it quick Can you handle me the way you are?) I don't need the cheese or the car keys Boy I li