Thin Walls


We now live in an apartment that until last week, was incredibly sound-proof. The new "apartment" is really more a townhouse because we have multiple levels. We had neighbors downstairs who have recently moved out but honestly, we did not hear them and they said they didn't hear us.

We have a new neighbor next door on our 3rd level. We heard them move in and kept slamming what we thought was closet door against our wall.

Last night, I came to the conclusion that it wasn't the closet door. I believe it is the headboard. With the rhythmic vibrations of the wall shaking the pictures, I could hear them go at it. About 25 seconds in, the crescendo of moans and groans turned into screaming for an intense 5 seconds. That guy was definitely having a good time. I swear you could hear him screaming a block over.

This bring me to my point, if you are going to be a screamer, don't be a dude. If you are going to be a screamer, last longer than 30 seconds. If you are going to be a screamer, and headboard banger, move the bed away from the wall. I had to straighten the pictures after and I didn't even need a smoke.

The Queen and I have decided we are going to scream out coaching remarks next time... we are SUCH good neighbors. Remarks will sounds like:

SLOW DOWN!

TO THE LEFT!

THE OTHER LEFT!

SHE NEEDS TO MOAN LOUDER!

HARDER, FASTER!

right before climax... MORE, MORE MORE!

Clap after climax...and get dirty looks every time they walk outdoors. Won't this be fun?

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