Getting the Finger

For years I have been getting the finger. This is often a case of someone extremely pleased with my driving and passive aggressive demeanor toward the intellectually challenged. It may be a case of the very helpful teenage youth talking on her cell phone to her VERY best friend behind the counter of the restaurant I just happen to be standing in, waiting for her to look at me to take my order, and me talking at a rather high volume to make sure she can hear me over her other conversation. That is when I am told that I am number 1 in her heart.

I lick the side of my cup very slowly and slowly suck on the straw in response.

I feel so loved.

Now, my wife is insistent that I go get the finger from someone else. This time there will not be any witty repartee, no exchange of glances, no passive aggressive glances. This time, I will have to hum to myself to calm myself from the impending and unwanted finger of a grown man with a latex glove standing behind me.

I realize that now that I have passed the 40 mark that this is a preventative measure that could very well save my life. But there really isn't ANY fun in the thought of having my exit only turned into a two way street. I suppose I could go ahead and have the camera snake thingy run up there, but since the idea of the one finger doesn't appeal to me, I am SURE the 6 foot camera will not make me thrilled.

This is important. I get that. This is something that EVERY MAN should do. It doesn't mean I have to like it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
how about a nice bottle of wine and some lube? That might loosen things up a bit (snigger snigger snigger)
6:37 PM
Mickey said…
My dad was driving around one of the worst rotaries in America, and someone didn't appreciate his navigating of this rotary, and flipped him off. Instead of returning the 1 finger salute, my dad improvised, and likely confused the other driver when he stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry to the driver. How would you react to a 65 year old man blowing his tongue out at you while driving?

He's also a man who revels in telling everybody about the day before his annual exit only inspection. When anyone calls him on the day before the exam, he excitedly announces that he's been drinking some god awful drink and he's been visiting the toilet more than a plumber on their worst day.
10:30 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Rare Political Statement...Illegal Immigrants

This is a long post. However, it addresses BOTH sides of the immigration issue. The actual bill as it was received in the Senate from the House. http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=109_cong_bills&docid=f:h4437rfs.txt.pdf In a nutshell, here is what the bill provides (ref: Wikipedia ): · Requires up to 700 miles (1100 km) of fence along the US-Mexican border at points with the highest number of immigrant deaths. (House Amendment 648, authored by Duncan Hunter ) · Requires the federal government to take custody of illegal aliens detained by local authorities. This would end the practice of "catch and release", where federal officials sometimes instruct local law enforcement to release detained illegal aliens because resources to prosecute them are not available. It also reimburses local agencies in the 29 counties along the border for costs related to detaining illegal aliens. (Section 607) ·
Read more

What is it About Shoes?

I just have to know. What is it about shoes? I own five pairs of shoes and I can tell you where they are located at any given point in time. Each of them has a purpose. I have a black pair of tie-up shoes used for work and only work. In fact, they stay in my locker at work. The second pair of shoes are basically a backup for the first pair. They are slip on Dexter loafers in black and brown. Multifunctional and works with nearly every outfit. Third are my Nike Air Monarchs. I use these for nearly everything casual including my daily trip to work. After arriving at work, I put on the shoes mentioned first. Next are the mowing sneakers. They are plain white New Balance and were the predecessor to the Monarchs. I use them when I am mowing. They are green. Lastly are my bowling shoes. Dexter bowling shoes. They cannot be worn outside of a bowling alley, so they stay in my bowling bag (lately without any usage at all). This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why in the wor
Read more

Moving on and moving out

I have made an executive decision in my life today. MomofJenMatt is right about a very sensitive issue and I have been running it through my mind for most of the night. I am strongly against the support of child pornography and to be honest, Xanga could be considered as contributing to the distribution of child pornography. Therefore, this is my last post with Xanga. I am moving to http://www.blogger.com/ . Blogger.com is tied to/owned by Google. It is a little more complicated to use, but I figure I will get used to it. This is my new blog site: http://n8ivwarrior.blogspot.com/ I welcome you to join me, although anyone can read and comment on my blog. You do not need to be a member. I hereby resign the Viewer's Choice to LarsThunder. Thank you for viewing and good luck to you all.
Read more