Chiropractor
Eddie Izzard is correct. It is a very long word in Scrabble and very impressive when displayed on the board.
My Queen and I have been visiting a chiropractor regularly to fix some aches and pains provided by our diet, lack of exercise, and genetics. We came across the good doctors at a street fair in Reston and he had this fancy electrocuting spinal alignment and dissentigration machine. He took one zap at my neck and said I was about to fall over because my head is too big. I blame my huge brain...
My Queen also was cooked by the portable electric chair thing and figured she may as well join me on the merry visit.
After doing a little research and finding out that the insurance company no longer thinks that chiropractors are closely related to miracle water salesmen, I went to my first appointment and had them xray me from stem to stern. They ran a battery of test to include finding out that I have no reflexes in my right ankle (Didn't realize I could have reflexes in my ankles), and fed me the results on the second visit. The doctor was kind enough to explain things in snail terms so I could understand and we agreed to move forward.
The third visit was really the first real visit in my book because that is when the good doctor "adjusted" me. The visit started with a warm towel wrapped around my neck and laying down on a full body massage table while staring up at the ceiling where there happened to be two monitors providing minutes of chiropractic trivial pursuit style question and answers. At the sound of the belll instead of coming off the table swinging, I simply said "damn." That was sooooo relaxing. I have to get one of those!
Moving into an examing room the doctor explained that this will not hurt and not to be scared. Is it me or when you hear words like that you automatically kick into the "oh, crap what have I gotten myself into" mode? He popped my neck in every direction about 50 times and then proceeded down the back along the spine. He placed me precariously on the edge of the table with one leg over the edge, the other leg behind my head, my right shoulder under the table the left shoulder facing the table and then he proceeded to jump off the ropes with his cape streaming in the air and body slammed me to produce the last needed pop to end the first session.
No...it actually didn't hurt. But do you know those moments when you moved in a certain way and you heard something happen but you are afraid to move because now it may hurt? That is exactly how it felt...the whole session. I actually walked out feeling really good. Next appointment 2 days later.
The following day however, my muscles were revolting. The good doctor warned me about it but I didn't realize the impact. So after they manage to straighten you out a little and loosen up the joints, the muscles want to put them back to where the muscles got used to it. So the muscles are fighting for supremacy. Damn the muscles. Down with the muscles!
A day later, another sumo wrestling match, more pops, and I am back to Dr. Feelgood. Can you get addicted to to popping? It is almost like..I have a headache, pop the back; I have a stomach ache, pop the back; I have a gall stone, pop the back; my arm is severed off, pop the back. It just feels sooo good.
Now though, we have moved into the exercises and traction stage. Move you head back 53mm 20 times a day for 10 seconds each. We will then place a 12 pounds weight on a sling and strap is to your head and throw it over the edge of the table. How much fun is that?
Well, I have to go do my exercises. I have another cracking tomorrow to prep for. Now what do I need popped?
My Queen and I have been visiting a chiropractor regularly to fix some aches and pains provided by our diet, lack of exercise, and genetics. We came across the good doctors at a street fair in Reston and he had this fancy electrocuting spinal alignment and dissentigration machine. He took one zap at my neck and said I was about to fall over because my head is too big. I blame my huge brain...
My Queen also was cooked by the portable electric chair thing and figured she may as well join me on the merry visit.
After doing a little research and finding out that the insurance company no longer thinks that chiropractors are closely related to miracle water salesmen, I went to my first appointment and had them xray me from stem to stern. They ran a battery of test to include finding out that I have no reflexes in my right ankle (Didn't realize I could have reflexes in my ankles), and fed me the results on the second visit. The doctor was kind enough to explain things in snail terms so I could understand and we agreed to move forward.
The third visit was really the first real visit in my book because that is when the good doctor "adjusted" me. The visit started with a warm towel wrapped around my neck and laying down on a full body massage table while staring up at the ceiling where there happened to be two monitors providing minutes of chiropractic trivial pursuit style question and answers. At the sound of the belll instead of coming off the table swinging, I simply said "damn." That was sooooo relaxing. I have to get one of those!
Moving into an examing room the doctor explained that this will not hurt and not to be scared. Is it me or when you hear words like that you automatically kick into the "oh, crap what have I gotten myself into" mode? He popped my neck in every direction about 50 times and then proceeded down the back along the spine. He placed me precariously on the edge of the table with one leg over the edge, the other leg behind my head, my right shoulder under the table the left shoulder facing the table and then he proceeded to jump off the ropes with his cape streaming in the air and body slammed me to produce the last needed pop to end the first session.
No...it actually didn't hurt. But do you know those moments when you moved in a certain way and you heard something happen but you are afraid to move because now it may hurt? That is exactly how it felt...the whole session. I actually walked out feeling really good. Next appointment 2 days later.
The following day however, my muscles were revolting. The good doctor warned me about it but I didn't realize the impact. So after they manage to straighten you out a little and loosen up the joints, the muscles want to put them back to where the muscles got used to it. So the muscles are fighting for supremacy. Damn the muscles. Down with the muscles!
A day later, another sumo wrestling match, more pops, and I am back to Dr. Feelgood. Can you get addicted to to popping? It is almost like..I have a headache, pop the back; I have a stomach ache, pop the back; I have a gall stone, pop the back; my arm is severed off, pop the back. It just feels sooo good.
Now though, we have moved into the exercises and traction stage. Move you head back 53mm 20 times a day for 10 seconds each. We will then place a 12 pounds weight on a sling and strap is to your head and throw it over the edge of the table. How much fun is that?
Well, I have to go do my exercises. I have another cracking tomorrow to prep for. Now what do I need popped?
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