Man of the house...HA!

Being the man of the house and currently the sole provider of income, I find there are times in my day that I need to clean out my blockages of the brain and have a healthy bowel movement. We have 3 bathrooms (2 1/2 if you are a realtor) and for some reason, I am not allowed to poop in any of them.

THEY are allowed to poop in them and THEY make the adjacent rooms stink when they do. How fair is that? I am courteous and turn on the fan, spray the anti-poop-smell spray, and yet, the Queen throws a fit if I have to Crap in the Crapper (named after Thomas Crapper, making the flush toilet a household item). The cat is even allowed to drop a load in the downstairs bathroom.

I am the man of the house! Hear me roar! I have made some concessions with all of the women in the house. I do not leave the seat up. I turn on the fan. I spray the girlie smell-good stuff in the air. Seriously, do they think their shit don't stink? The women will even let off a fart at the dinner table...or in the van...or in Target. They will do it and keep walking waiting for me to walk through the luminescent green cloud. Not cool!

You know if I let off a fart at the dinner table, the Queen would claim that I made her throw up from the smell...oh...wait...I did do that...but that was in bed so it doesn't count. At least I didn't pull the covers over her head.

I tried teaching them a lesson by dropping an air biscuit at the dinner table once, but it had no affect and they laughed. Doe anyone know how to get them to stop...and let me poop in any of the bathrooms I choose?

Maybe I should make a sign...

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