I am so Angry

There really isn’t a reason for me to be angry. I have an excellent life. Today, I just woke up and was pissed off at the world. Could it be the grieving process for having Tobey die? Is it the fact I keep waiting for a shoe to drop and something terrible to happen? Am I waiting for one of my work screw ups to finally catch up to me?

I have no idea.


Here is what I know. It has been slowly building up. I don’t think it is depression or seasonal affected disorder. I just woke up and was ready to just hurt something. Is this what causes some people to snap?

I have a process for working through it. It has happened before. My process is to have a day walking and thinking. On my walk I think “am I alone?” In a city of 3 million people, am I one of those who can’t connect with others emotionally? Why do I feel like I have life all figured out already when I know logically I still have much to learn? How do I take my talents and help people? What will be my legacy?

Life is too short to get bogged down on the minor things. I am sure I could figure out the major things but would anyone listen? I only get one chance to live my life and today I am wasting it because I am angry and need to sort it out. This just makes me angrier.

At some point in this life, you have to think you are due for a break. You get up, go to work, come home and either crash or continue working, then you go to bed so you can do it all over again the next day. This is life for the fortunate few of us in the world. But who is making the big changes? Who is solving water and hunger issues? Who is preventing our own self destruction of the species? Who is helping the homeless? Who is giving everyone children and adults a proper education and opportunity? We are all a bunch of ants in a colony fighting amongst ourselves. Is this going to change anytime soon? No. The “individualism” is in a constant struggle with “society”.

#postForMyself

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