Cursed
I am really not sure if it is due to my looks or my insatiable need for duct tape and toilet paper, but for some reason, I can't manage to get an Internet connection to work in my temp-a-house.
So, today I "worked from home" to be here when the rent-a-cable-guy arrived at the door at 10:00. He came...he drilled a hole in my exterior wall...he blamed it not working on inside service...he left.
I called inside service and the call went something like this:
"Hello, the technician informed me I need to call you all to turn on my modem." I thought I stated clearly.
"Have you plugged in your computer?" the technician asks.
"Indeed I have. I have been assigned an IP address and I can see on the modem's web interface that it is not communicating with you. I have rebooted it and have the same result."
"Can you go ahead and unplug the modem and turn off your computer?" the technician asks.
"Not a problem."
45 seconds later, she asks me to plug it back in and start my PC. Once I have confirmed everything is up and running with the same result, I hear "I need you to go to start, run and type 'cmd.'
For all of you who haven't been reading me, I have been in information technology for over 22 years. My response really threw her off. "I can't do that. First, "run" doesn't exist in that location. Second, I can't run ipconfig from the command line with the security settings."
"What operating system are you running?"
"Windows Vista Business" Suddenly there is a long pause on the other end of the line. "Hello?"
"Can you hold on sir?" She informed me later that I was her first customer running Vista...which I have had for a month.
Before I get a chance to say sure I hear the elevator music on the phone. Why is it they only play standards for music on hold? Why can't they play some U2 or Sting? Would you like to hear a song while you are on hold about "Shorty like mine"? Oh, she is back, she navigates me to the network settings to reset my IP address. I was already there, and just said "uh-huh" every time she told me a step.
After troubleshooting for 30 minutes, she informed me she needs to send out a technician. "The next available time is Thursday."
"What? Are you telling me I need to take another day off from work because it wasn't set up right the first time? I don't think so. Have whats-his-name come back."
"I am sorry. We have Saturday available. Anytime Saturday."
After agreeing on Saturday, I turned on the TV, hopped on the neighbor's unsecure wireless network and got to work. The Travel channel has been airing the "best" pizza, hot dogs, barbecue, and big eats today.
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why in the world would ANYONE want to eat a 76oz steak with sides in an hour? Can you imagine the calories in that meal? Why would anyone want to eat six chicken wings that you have to sign a waiver before you start?
What kills me is Eagle's Deli in Boston. A 3 1/2 pound cheeseburger and 5 pounds of fries for a meal is just a bit too much. One more thing, if you can eat all of that and another 1/2 pound burger, they will name the NEXT burger in your name.
OK, need to go consume the entire contents of my fridge.
Did you know...
Without the soda to wash it down, 3 1/2 pound cheeseburger and 5 pounds of fries have 8,109 calories, 659g carbs, 341g fat and 595g protein. For a man, that is 5 days worth of calories, 3 days of carbs, 7 days of fat, 5 days of protein.
So, today I "worked from home" to be here when the rent-a-cable-guy arrived at the door at 10:00. He came...he drilled a hole in my exterior wall...he blamed it not working on inside service...he left.
I called inside service and the call went something like this:
"Hello, the technician informed me I need to call you all to turn on my modem." I thought I stated clearly.
"Have you plugged in your computer?" the technician asks.
"Indeed I have. I have been assigned an IP address and I can see on the modem's web interface that it is not communicating with you. I have rebooted it and have the same result."
"Can you go ahead and unplug the modem and turn off your computer?" the technician asks.
"Not a problem."
45 seconds later, she asks me to plug it back in and start my PC. Once I have confirmed everything is up and running with the same result, I hear "I need you to go to start, run and type 'cmd.'
For all of you who haven't been reading me, I have been in information technology for over 22 years. My response really threw her off. "I can't do that. First, "run" doesn't exist in that location. Second, I can't run ipconfig from the command line with the security settings."
"What operating system are you running?"
"Windows Vista Business" Suddenly there is a long pause on the other end of the line. "Hello?"
"Can you hold on sir?" She informed me later that I was her first customer running Vista...which I have had for a month.
Before I get a chance to say sure I hear the elevator music on the phone. Why is it they only play standards for music on hold? Why can't they play some U2 or Sting? Would you like to hear a song while you are on hold about "Shorty like mine"? Oh, she is back, she navigates me to the network settings to reset my IP address. I was already there, and just said "uh-huh" every time she told me a step.
After troubleshooting for 30 minutes, she informed me she needs to send out a technician. "The next available time is Thursday."
"What? Are you telling me I need to take another day off from work because it wasn't set up right the first time? I don't think so. Have whats-his-name come back."
"I am sorry. We have Saturday available. Anytime Saturday."
After agreeing on Saturday, I turned on the TV, hopped on the neighbor's unsecure wireless network and got to work. The Travel channel has been airing the "best" pizza, hot dogs, barbecue, and big eats today.
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why in the world would ANYONE want to eat a 76oz steak with sides in an hour? Can you imagine the calories in that meal? Why would anyone want to eat six chicken wings that you have to sign a waiver before you start?
What kills me is Eagle's Deli in Boston. A 3 1/2 pound cheeseburger and 5 pounds of fries for a meal is just a bit too much. One more thing, if you can eat all of that and another 1/2 pound burger, they will name the NEXT burger in your name.
OK, need to go consume the entire contents of my fridge.
Did you know...
Without the soda to wash it down, 3 1/2 pound cheeseburger and 5 pounds of fries have 8,109 calories, 659g carbs, 341g fat and 595g protein. For a man, that is 5 days worth of calories, 3 days of carbs, 7 days of fat, 5 days of protein.
Comments
by any chance, the call center employee with whom you had interacted is from India. These days, lot of call center jobs are outsourced to developing countries. Here Vista has been just released.