Um...yeah

So yesterday morning QueenSuchandSuch drove me to the airport to catch my flight to sunny Tampa, Florida. After a flying ordeal, I landed safely, french kissed the ground and made my way to the Hertz rental car place.

I don't usually rent cars but the costs for the car versus the cost of the cab ride was about the same...and I am not much for cab rides. So, I rented the car with navigation of course. When I finally arrive at the hotel the meeting is being held in, I thought the swimming pool was sure hopping on a Sunday when it is only 70 degrees out. Well, this is because the bands were line up have concerts while the Hawaiian Tropic bikini contest was taking place. Of course, I find all of this out much later at the governors dinner, so it is moot.

I checked into the hotel, dropped off my luggage and started walking around the hotel. To my surprise, the hotel is ON the beach. There standing on the edge of the beach stood mecca. A tiki bar. A bar with music playing, surrounded by sand and wind. My thoughts go to calling my wife to make sure she had the message that I landed alive and make sure she had the phone number. I woke her so the conversation was short. OK, so back to the bar.

I am a lightweight when it comes to drinking. I am especially a lightweight when it comes to drinking without food, so when the Long Island Iced Tea touched my lips, I was smashed. It did not take 1/2 of the first drink to have me drunk. Not nearly as drunk as my wife on her 21st birthday (I will circle back to this), but drunk. I drank the whole drink and some of the people for my governor's dinner started showing up for the festivities. Open bar. Wow. No driving, I just have to find my room. So, I ordered another.

The appetizers began to circulate and I grabbed a couple to fend off the inevitable drunken slobber associated with my alcohol. Two teas down and dinner was served. Now keep in mind these are a LOT of middle aged men and very few women so, the area gets a bit childish. The "song book" emerges. Now normally these men would never think of singing, let alone in front of anyone, but they all do it...including yours truly. Two Long Island Iced Teas was all it took to pick my selection out of the book which was "Theme from Gilligans Island." Drunk and stupid a few other men joined me. Does anyone have any idea how long the Gilligans Island theme is?

Well, Here it is:

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale

a tale of a fateful trip,

that started from this tropic port,

aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailin' man,

the Skipper brave and sure,

five passengers set sail that day,

for a three hour tour,

a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,

the tiny ship was tossed.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew

the Minnow would be lost.

The Minnow would be lost.

The ship aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle

with Gilligan, the Skipper too.

A millionaire and his wife,

a movie star,

the professor and Mary Ann,

here on Gilligan's Isle.

(Ending verse)

So this is the tale of our castaways,

there here for a long long time.

They'll have to make the best of things,

it's an uphill climb.

The first mate and his Skipper too will do their very best,

to make the others comf'terble in their tropic island nest.

No phone ,no lights, no motor car,

not a single luxury

like Robinson Crusoe it's primitive as can be.

So join us here each week my friends,

you're sure to get a smile,

from seven stranded castaways here on Gilligan's Isle!

Now imagine being drunk and singing that or McHales Navy or Green Acres out in the public.

Well, yours truly did. One more Long Island Iced Tea was brought to me by our cruise director, Alex (he is actually the chair of our meeting) before the bar closed outdoors and moved indoors.
I went back to my room. I was smiling a lot and a bit tired. I tried to blog...but the words nor the keyboard were not cooperating.

Now, this was not nearly as bad as when QueenSuchandSuch turned 21. We were in Ocean City, Maryland and it was the day before her birthday. We went to have a nice dinner and movie and hang around until midnight.

The clock struck 12 and we raced in for her first legal alcoholic beverage. It is called the Pain in de Ass. It is a frozen Rum Runner and a frozen Pina Colada swirled. It tastes very good (like a slurpee) and it will knock you on your ass, thus the name. She downed one in brain freezing time and asked for the second. She took that one down a bit slower and did not think there was any alcohol in the drink thereby blaming me for ordering a bad drink.

She didn't believe me when I told her that it requires movement to kick in until she stepped off the stool and into the palm tree. Her attempt to head to the bathroom was blocked with pretty talking palm trees and jumping tiki torches. It was 12:20. After she emerged from the bathroom singing "Happy Birthday to me," we headed back to the beach house.

I poured her into the car and we were on our way. I pulled up to the stop light and another car pulled up next to me. The police man was giving me a very questionable stare to determine if I was as drunk as my wife. Did I mention she was STILL singing Happy Birthday to me with her window down at the top of her lungs? I told the officer I am taking her home right now and he smiled. Whew...

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Drink plenty of water while you are drinking. It makes the hangover much easier to deal with.

OK, I am off to the vendor dinner and drinks...weeeeee...Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...