Why am I so edgy today?

Today has been one of those roller coaster days where I cannot manage to stay comfortable in my own skin. It may be time for a cleansing. What brought this on?

Well, I haven’t felt quite like my old self since I took the very brief respite from Xanga. The Queen and I have both been a bit off center and off cycle. So much to the point when she asked me if she was getting on my nerves, I had to tell her yes.

How could it be? How could I get irritated with my soul mate? It is me. I know it is. There are apparently things that are in my head that need to be straightened out and my spirit guide and dreams aren’t guiding me at this moment. I know it has to do a lot with work and impending home issues. I know the stress of it all has contributed. But normally, I cope with it in some sort of way.

The day overall has gone well. We went out for a very good breakfast this morning and proceeded to stuff myself. After, we went to pick up paint and other supplies so the Queen can paint the stairwell. She then dismissed me with the older kids to the movies. We saw Pink Panther. It was not a bad movie, but I did not see as much humor in it than everyone else. I again think my shift in the dimension I am in contributed.

I am easily agitated. For instance, the other day, I had this overwhelming urge to slam the perfect stranger in the elevator up again the elevator door just because their cologne was too strong.

Maybe this is one of the side-effects of aging (heavily on my mind lately if you can’t tell). Maybe this is a lack of sleep or at least rested sleep. Maybe the child pornography and hate sites triggered some deep disgust that I have suppressed. Maybe it is because that person’s cologne has some sort of chemical in it that flipped a switch in my pea-brain. Maybe it is my worry for my oldest child and my hope that she is thinking about her decisions before she makes them. I don’t know. But this uncertainty is really bothering me.

I figured my trip to Tampa would level me back out. But looking back, the social and work commitments did not exactly leave me much time to focus on my inner being. I need to figure out what it is.

To all of my family, I apologize.

Comments

Meg said…
It's not an age thing. Everyone gets that way to some extent or another. Don't forget to remember to BREATHE!
It'll help you refocus.
8:23 PM
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