Big Hands, Big Feet

I am 5 feet 10 inches with an average build. I have average size hands with average size 10 shoes. I have the average american weight for my average height. I am average.

Tonight, while I was helping take out the trash, my neighbor across the street was also taking out the trash. I greeted him with my usual "Hey Joe!" I am not sure if his name is really Joe though. He walked up to me and had his hand out to shake.

Joe is a big man. He is a six foot three truck driver that looks as if he could lift a Cadillac. So as I reach for his hand, I fear he is going to crush it. His hand is massive. What does a guy of average size do when faced with a hand of Kong. First he thinks "don't hurt me" and then he learns to shake daintily.

What rational reasoning do I have to fear that this neighbor would want to power drive me into the mailbox? Is this a hidden fear? Am I insecure? Why do women think that big hands or big feet automatically indicates a large schmuck?

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why aren't there myths or otherwise of women's feet in comparison to women's nether regions? Do we really know? I say, let's make one right here, right now.

Women with curly hair are best in bed. How about... big breasted babes blow balloons up better.

Basically, this is stupid. Feet and Hands have nothing to do with anatomical size. It is all about genetics. Some people have it, and some people don't.

The Queen has been out of town for 17 days. Can you tell?

Did you know...

Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale).

Comments

Nirek said…
Hey john,
thats an interesting read. (may be its a problem, your blog may get listed in some porno sites list because of those words....)
11:46 PM
High Priestess said…
Queen come home so we can have our old Tatonka back on the train! This one only counts down the days until you return and drinks himself silly with Long Island Ice Teas. I'm not really sure the ones he has in the morning are really Arizona Ice Teas! It's apparent that you're missed!
HP
11:19 PM
Unknown said…
One of he bigest myth, that big feet= big genitals.

thanx for droppin by mi blog.
10:37 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Rare Political Statement...Illegal Immigrants

This is a long post. However, it addresses BOTH sides of the immigration issue. The actual bill as it was received in the Senate from the House. http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=109_cong_bills&docid=f:h4437rfs.txt.pdf In a nutshell, here is what the bill provides (ref: Wikipedia ): · Requires up to 700 miles (1100 km) of fence along the US-Mexican border at points with the highest number of immigrant deaths. (House Amendment 648, authored by Duncan Hunter ) · Requires the federal government to take custody of illegal aliens detained by local authorities. This would end the practice of "catch and release", where federal officials sometimes instruct local law enforcement to release detained illegal aliens because resources to prosecute them are not available. It also reimburses local agencies in the 29 counties along the border for costs related to detaining illegal aliens. (Section 607) ·
Read more

What is it About Shoes?

I just have to know. What is it about shoes? I own five pairs of shoes and I can tell you where they are located at any given point in time. Each of them has a purpose. I have a black pair of tie-up shoes used for work and only work. In fact, they stay in my locker at work. The second pair of shoes are basically a backup for the first pair. They are slip on Dexter loafers in black and brown. Multifunctional and works with nearly every outfit. Third are my Nike Air Monarchs. I use these for nearly everything casual including my daily trip to work. After arriving at work, I put on the shoes mentioned first. Next are the mowing sneakers. They are plain white New Balance and were the predecessor to the Monarchs. I use them when I am mowing. They are green. Lastly are my bowling shoes. Dexter bowling shoes. They cannot be worn outside of a bowling alley, so they stay in my bowling bag (lately without any usage at all). This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why in the wor
Read more

Moving on and moving out

I have made an executive decision in my life today. MomofJenMatt is right about a very sensitive issue and I have been running it through my mind for most of the night. I am strongly against the support of child pornography and to be honest, Xanga could be considered as contributing to the distribution of child pornography. Therefore, this is my last post with Xanga. I am moving to http://www.blogger.com/ . Blogger.com is tied to/owned by Google. It is a little more complicated to use, but I figure I will get used to it. This is my new blog site: http://n8ivwarrior.blogspot.com/ I welcome you to join me, although anyone can read and comment on my blog. You do not need to be a member. I hereby resign the Viewer's Choice to LarsThunder. Thank you for viewing and good luck to you all.
Read more