Tipping

The key to getting great service the next time you visit an establishment is tipping. Sometimes, it is not necessarily the amount of the tip but the tip itself. For instance, whenever I have to actually see a bank teller (which is rare) I ask for gold and silver dollars. If you leave gold in your tip, they actually tell other wait staff and mostly think it is unique. The next time, they fight to have your table...that time, leave a two dollar bill in the tip mix. Contrary to popular belief, the two dollar bill is worth two dollars.

What brought me to talking about tipping? Not so long ago, the Mexican was explaining to me about not being able to get a seat at his wife's favorite restaurant because of the wait. I looked at him like he was crazy.

Me: Didn't they have a hostess?
Mexican: Yeah. Some little 16 year old.
Again looking at him like he is crazy I have to ask: Why didn't you drop her 10 bucks?
Mexican: Some 16 year old won't take 10 bucks.

It was at this time that the banker and I had to explain to the Mexican the art of moving up in line. Hostesses or hosts for my gender neutral friends take names and place you in a pecking order. The order goes something like this:

The best friend
The best friends family
The friend of a friends family
The really whiney person that stands right in front of the podium
The next person on the list of names.

But the trump card to all of that list is the one that provides cold hard cash. The is especially true for the barely surviving teen in desperate need of cash because she spent too much on the outfit to wear and the concert tickets and forgot she had to pay for parking at the concert crowd. Just try it sometime. You will surely find that the line gets incredibly short when you drop that bill on the other side of the podium. Isn't it worth 10 bucks to not have to wait in line?

And that's not all boys and girls! You see, she will do her best to seat you in the seating section of one of her friends. She will tell her friend that she was palmed a ten spot and your service will be impecable. I know this seems simple, but it amazed me how many people do not actually use this or even know this.

Tipping 101 states...10 percent to 20 percent. I tend to tip 20 percent if my table's order is right and we are never thirsty. I work down from there. About 1 percent for each oops. There are some people who will only tip 20 percent if they are on the receiving end of a lap dance. Whatever, these people are often working for "waitstaff" wages which is less than minimum plus tips. All you do by making it complicated for them is look stingy which means...you get the trainee.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Tip me! This service I just provided you was delivered for LESS than waitstaff wages. I write and I write to provide important and valuable information about flatulence, duct tape and tipping and you readers have not taken the time to send me the money I so richly deserve. I am reminding you that tipping is as important as what you put into your body.

This message has been brought to you by the Tipping Your N8ivWarrior committee.

Did you know...

The first video ever played on MTV Europe was "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits.

Comments

QueenSuchandSuch said…
Here's a tip: I tip 25%. Thats why I get better service than you do! nah nah
9:24 PM
High Priestess said…
I'm a big believer in a good tip - Tips - at a bar stands for - To Insure Prompt Service! You tip good on the first round and you'll never wait for a refill! I have been known to grossly overtip if the waiter/waitress/bartender is very friendly, provides good service, and adds to the good time! NEVER, insult a waitress! They hand you food and drinks that could easily be spit in if you give them a reason to retaliate! Yes, I have some restaurant experience from WAYYYYY Back!
3:38 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Rare Political Statement...Illegal Immigrants

This is a long post. However, it addresses BOTH sides of the immigration issue. The actual bill as it was received in the Senate from the House. http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=109_cong_bills&docid=f:h4437rfs.txt.pdf In a nutshell, here is what the bill provides (ref: Wikipedia ): · Requires up to 700 miles (1100 km) of fence along the US-Mexican border at points with the highest number of immigrant deaths. (House Amendment 648, authored by Duncan Hunter ) · Requires the federal government to take custody of illegal aliens detained by local authorities. This would end the practice of "catch and release", where federal officials sometimes instruct local law enforcement to release detained illegal aliens because resources to prosecute them are not available. It also reimburses local agencies in the 29 counties along the border for costs related to detaining illegal aliens. (Section 607) ·
Read more

What is it About Shoes?

I just have to know. What is it about shoes? I own five pairs of shoes and I can tell you where they are located at any given point in time. Each of them has a purpose. I have a black pair of tie-up shoes used for work and only work. In fact, they stay in my locker at work. The second pair of shoes are basically a backup for the first pair. They are slip on Dexter loafers in black and brown. Multifunctional and works with nearly every outfit. Third are my Nike Air Monarchs. I use these for nearly everything casual including my daily trip to work. After arriving at work, I put on the shoes mentioned first. Next are the mowing sneakers. They are plain white New Balance and were the predecessor to the Monarchs. I use them when I am mowing. They are green. Lastly are my bowling shoes. Dexter bowling shoes. They cannot be worn outside of a bowling alley, so they stay in my bowling bag (lately without any usage at all). This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why in the wor
Read more

Moving on and moving out

I have made an executive decision in my life today. MomofJenMatt is right about a very sensitive issue and I have been running it through my mind for most of the night. I am strongly against the support of child pornography and to be honest, Xanga could be considered as contributing to the distribution of child pornography. Therefore, this is my last post with Xanga. I am moving to http://www.blogger.com/ . Blogger.com is tied to/owned by Google. It is a little more complicated to use, but I figure I will get used to it. This is my new blog site: http://n8ivwarrior.blogspot.com/ I welcome you to join me, although anyone can read and comment on my blog. You do not need to be a member. I hereby resign the Viewer's Choice to LarsThunder. Thank you for viewing and good luck to you all.
Read more