Almost Green
What is it with the people’s obsession with grass? My neighbor is so compulsive with his yard that he will complain to the Association if I have anything “unsightly” in my yard. He uses all four chemical treatments every year and mows about twice a week because it grows so fast. You know it is bad when the siding is falling off his house…but he is out there with his fingernail clippers trimming his shrubbery (thinking Monte Python… SHRUBBERY?!).
As for me, if I never have to mow my lawn all year, I am a happy camper. Last year, it was so dry, the lawn only had to be mowed five times the entire year. This year, it has a green tint and I have yet to mow it. I like this. I like having time for myself and family on the weekend instead of my yard.
We also have to endure an Association requirement of no higher than a four foot fence. What exactly is a four foot high fence going to do for me? The large dogs I would like to keep out can jump over it. If someone came to a party at my house and decided to strip naked in my yard, there wouldn’t be any privacy. Honestly, I really don’t want to see my neighbors house.
But because I constantly think outside the box, I came up with a solution that falls within the Assholciation rules while giving me the security and privacy I desire. I am planting a privet hedge. At maturity, it can grow to 12’ high and will deter nearly every animal including humans. This also means I don’t have to fall within the “fence border” requirements. Plants can be planted anywhere except for up their… nose.
I have ordered 50 plants that should pretty much cover both sides and the back of my lot. What schmuck would make a rule that your fence can only be four feet in the first place?
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Use the rules against them. I am constantly faced with stupid rules. I am constantly faced with stupid situations. So when the telemarketer calls you because you are already a customer of the parent company (which they are allowed to do even if you are on the do-not-call list), use their own rules against them. Ask them for their name and telemarketing number. Inform them that you are busy right now and will have to call them back.
Then, let 200 of your friends know WHEN to call the number back and call back all at the same time requesting lengthy information and never ever buy anything. What this does is ties up all of their marketing personnel with calls and they never have a chance to call out to other people and make the sale. If your intention is to shut them down because they just WON’T stop calling, publish the information and have everyone call at least once a day until the phone just stops being answered.
There is nothing wrong, or illegal about doing any of these scenarios. You are just playing by their rules. What would not be playing by their rules is if the next time you fill out one of those forms in the malls for a free vacation, TV, or car, you use the telemarketers number that keeps calling you in the first place.
Did you know…
Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) have registered for the list themselves.
As for me, if I never have to mow my lawn all year, I am a happy camper. Last year, it was so dry, the lawn only had to be mowed five times the entire year. This year, it has a green tint and I have yet to mow it. I like this. I like having time for myself and family on the weekend instead of my yard.
We also have to endure an Association requirement of no higher than a four foot fence. What exactly is a four foot high fence going to do for me? The large dogs I would like to keep out can jump over it. If someone came to a party at my house and decided to strip naked in my yard, there wouldn’t be any privacy. Honestly, I really don’t want to see my neighbors house.
But because I constantly think outside the box, I came up with a solution that falls within the Assholciation rules while giving me the security and privacy I desire. I am planting a privet hedge. At maturity, it can grow to 12’ high and will deter nearly every animal including humans. This also means I don’t have to fall within the “fence border” requirements. Plants can be planted anywhere except for up their… nose.
I have ordered 50 plants that should pretty much cover both sides and the back of my lot. What schmuck would make a rule that your fence can only be four feet in the first place?
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Use the rules against them. I am constantly faced with stupid rules. I am constantly faced with stupid situations. So when the telemarketer calls you because you are already a customer of the parent company (which they are allowed to do even if you are on the do-not-call list), use their own rules against them. Ask them for their name and telemarketing number. Inform them that you are busy right now and will have to call them back.
Then, let 200 of your friends know WHEN to call the number back and call back all at the same time requesting lengthy information and never ever buy anything. What this does is ties up all of their marketing personnel with calls and they never have a chance to call out to other people and make the sale. If your intention is to shut them down because they just WON’T stop calling, publish the information and have everyone call at least once a day until the phone just stops being answered.
There is nothing wrong, or illegal about doing any of these scenarios. You are just playing by their rules. What would not be playing by their rules is if the next time you fill out one of those forms in the malls for a free vacation, TV, or car, you use the telemarketers number that keeps calling you in the first place.
Did you know…
Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) have registered for the list themselves.
Comments