Awfully Close to Shooting Someone

Today was an unusually bad day at work (unusually meaning worse today than every other bad day). For this reason, I have decided I need to take a couple of mental health days Thursday and Friday.

My job and work is IT Operations. Well, today I got chewed not once, not twice, but three times. My usual action is to find a second for myself, hop on my computer and pull up Monster.

There was one day I actually had to walk out of the office go home early with a severe “headache.” You know those headaches, the one that if one more person looks at you wrong you would whip out your duct tape, splat the person to the closed elevator door, tape them up and push the button.

Today, I came close to breaking open the survival kit and pulling out the duct tape.

Since there are numerous changes in command, everyone is flipping out and playing the blame game. The blame game always starts and ends with Operations. I hate the blame game.

My boss has also been out of the office a lot. I end up picking up his work.

With all of this information, you can now understand why I need to take a break. The Mexican asked me what I planned to do with my time off. The conversation went like this:

Me: “Just advance warning, I am taking vacation days Thursday and Friday.”

The Mexican: “Good for you! Taking the Queen out of town?”

Me: “Mental Health. I need to go lock all of my water pistols to prevent me from walking into the office and shooting everyone in the eye.”

The Mexican: “I’d love to hear the head lines…’Man drowns co-workers with water pistol’ workers were screaming ‘I can’t SWIM!”

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Um…yeah. Give a monkey a loaded gun and stand in the same locked room.

Try this (making the gun finger)…Bang! Bang! Rat tat tat tat tat. I got ya. There was no way you could have lived through that barrage of finger ammunition. I will take over the United States with my finger guns and everyone who is not Native American will be deported back to their own country.

We tried this before and it really didn't work out for the Natives.

I am not saying guns do not have a purpose. Lowering wildlife population is very important. Arming the military is very important. Even killing those nasty white sheets of paper with a bad shadow on them is VERY useful. You never know when you are going to be attacked by a rogue sheet of paper. In that situation, it is always good to whip out a M249 light machine gun or M60 belt fed machine gun and shred the paper to bits…or…I could use my super soaker and make it disintegrate.

Did you know…

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

Comments

QueenSuchandSuch said…
Dont worry honey, I called the water company and had your ammo cut off and RunningSlow and I used all the duct tape taping ourselves back onto the wagon
7:48 AM
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