Exercise Machines
I hate exercise machines. Whoever came up with the idea of exercising in the confines of their house, should get out more. The Queen has recently mentioned purchasing another exercise machine. This would not be the first.
Here is my issue with exercise machines:
You spend days or weeks researching the one vessel that will lower your weight and tone your muscles. You finally figure out that the super deluxe off the ground unicycle made of the gold plated wire rim with pulse control, radio, and a seat small enough to be used as an anal probe is the product you need. The cup holder is an extra option that you will also add to the purchase. Hey, it is cheaper than the platinum one. After all, let's not go overboard, who needs platinum?
You empty out your bank account and head to the nearest fitness equipment sales center to purchase it. How nice is it that they will even deliver it for free?
Having received your new gold plated exercise vehicle, you climb aboard and test it out. This is great! The computer explains how much of a fat cow you are and that by peddling only 500 miles a day, you will lose that 14 pounds within the next 8 months. You make a pledge to yourself that you will throw your cheeks on each side of the seat and exercise.
3 weeks later, after battling a sinus headache, you feel that climbing aboard the muscle maximizer may be a bit much. It will have to wait and you can catch up tomorrow.
The following week, you have determined that since you haven't climbed back on the machine in so long you should take it a bit easier and maybe do a couple miles instead of the marathon. You exercise enough to climb a small hill. Tomorrow will be better/easier.
The following day, you are so sore from "working out" that if you try to get on the thing, you are sure you will slip a disc or worse, cry.
The machine is pushed to the corner of the room because you are having a party this weekend and you need the floor space.
That weekend, you ran out of room in the closet and started hanging coats on the handlebars.
Three months later, you think that the monstrocity sitting in the corner of the room is taking up valuable space where you want to place a new piece of furniture. OK. Down to the basement.
The following spring, you figure that since you never use it, you could sell it and get some of the money you sunk into it back. You polish it up so it looks like new and place the $500 tag on it (almost one-third what you paid last year). About one hour before the garage sale is over you drop the price to $200 so you don't have to take it back to the basement and it sells.
Look at that, you made 200 bucks.
Four Months later, you are researching the flexible bow bending systems with the optional cup holder.
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Research garage sales. The Queen and the eldest child are especially good at this. Instead of going out and buying the supreme exercise bike from the store, they would much rather have someone else research it and pay much less. When you see something you want, never pay tag price.
This has worked for me in stores as well. I bought my home theater system in Best Buy. The only system I wanted had only one left. The box had a gash in the side and I asked for the manager. The unit was $900.00. It was on sale for $650.00. I combined it with another deal and it was $300.00. After talking with the manager, I walked out with it for $175.00.
This has also been done for cars, meals, and flowers. Everything can be worked down if you are smart about and are bold enough to try.
Did you know...
The biggest selling product in the world is toilet tissue.
Here is my issue with exercise machines:
You spend days or weeks researching the one vessel that will lower your weight and tone your muscles. You finally figure out that the super deluxe off the ground unicycle made of the gold plated wire rim with pulse control, radio, and a seat small enough to be used as an anal probe is the product you need. The cup holder is an extra option that you will also add to the purchase. Hey, it is cheaper than the platinum one. After all, let's not go overboard, who needs platinum?
You empty out your bank account and head to the nearest fitness equipment sales center to purchase it. How nice is it that they will even deliver it for free?
Having received your new gold plated exercise vehicle, you climb aboard and test it out. This is great! The computer explains how much of a fat cow you are and that by peddling only 500 miles a day, you will lose that 14 pounds within the next 8 months. You make a pledge to yourself that you will throw your cheeks on each side of the seat and exercise.
3 weeks later, after battling a sinus headache, you feel that climbing aboard the muscle maximizer may be a bit much. It will have to wait and you can catch up tomorrow.
The following week, you have determined that since you haven't climbed back on the machine in so long you should take it a bit easier and maybe do a couple miles instead of the marathon. You exercise enough to climb a small hill. Tomorrow will be better/easier.
The following day, you are so sore from "working out" that if you try to get on the thing, you are sure you will slip a disc or worse, cry.
The machine is pushed to the corner of the room because you are having a party this weekend and you need the floor space.
That weekend, you ran out of room in the closet and started hanging coats on the handlebars.
Three months later, you think that the monstrocity sitting in the corner of the room is taking up valuable space where you want to place a new piece of furniture. OK. Down to the basement.
The following spring, you figure that since you never use it, you could sell it and get some of the money you sunk into it back. You polish it up so it looks like new and place the $500 tag on it (almost one-third what you paid last year). About one hour before the garage sale is over you drop the price to $200 so you don't have to take it back to the basement and it sells.
Look at that, you made 200 bucks.
Four Months later, you are researching the flexible bow bending systems with the optional cup holder.
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Research garage sales. The Queen and the eldest child are especially good at this. Instead of going out and buying the supreme exercise bike from the store, they would much rather have someone else research it and pay much less. When you see something you want, never pay tag price.
This has worked for me in stores as well. I bought my home theater system in Best Buy. The only system I wanted had only one left. The box had a gash in the side and I asked for the manager. The unit was $900.00. It was on sale for $650.00. I combined it with another deal and it was $300.00. After talking with the manager, I walked out with it for $175.00.
This has also been done for cars, meals, and flowers. Everything can be worked down if you are smart about and are bold enough to try.
Did you know...
The biggest selling product in the world is toilet tissue.
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