Warning signs and labels
I am all about warning labels. I think signs, paper, plastic, steel and rock have a purpose. Think about this. Do you really want to touch a freshly painted handrail? I appreciate every time someone places one of those signs. It is much better than having a black line permanently adhered to my beige pants. I think Stop signs, yield signs, children playing, moose crossing and quiet, deaf children playing signs are all appropriate.
What brought me to this topic? Well, yesterday on the front page of the Chicago Sun-Times I had the great pleasure of seeing this. Apparently, the local police department became really tired of having to stop people, so they said “we mean it.” If you blow by this sign, we will duct tape you to the front of a school bus.
I also think some warnings are an absolute waste of time and effort and really considers us stupid. Take for instance the container of salt (go ahead, go look) high in Sodium. Really? Damn. I was hoping for the low-sodium salt. How about the tag on the hair dryer that says, “Do not use in shower.” Huh? If I am in the shower, my intention is to get my hair wet, not try to dry. Anyone who uses a hair dryer in the shower deserves to be electrocuted. Just adding a little chlorine to the gene pool.
Being a technoweenie, I love the one I found on the instruction manual of the cordless phone, “can cause electrocution if used during a thunderstorm.” Does anyone else see a problem with this? HOW will it electrocute me? Off the 4.5V battery in the handset? We are not talking about copper wire to a handset anymore.
Some signs can be confusing though. Take for instance highway signs. Last year, the Queen hopped into the van with the kids to go visit her cousin some 1000 miles away. There is an entire story wrapped in this trip, but I don’t think Xanga has enough web space. Anyway, after I landed in San Francisco, my wife calls me to inform me she is in Missouri. After being totally baffled as to why she decided to take 4 kids on a solo trip vertically across the U.S., she asked me why the signs in Missouri never have the state highway number.
Thoroughly confused, I had her try to describe it to me. She couldn’t. It wasn’t until I flew down to rescue her (she couldn’t drive back that far), that I finally figured out what she was talking about. It was this…
I then explained to her that the state of Missouri is very closely shaped just like the thing wrapped around the number. She looked at me like she wanted to duct tape me. The number was the state road number. We laughed. Well, I laughed. (She is going to hurt me...I know it).
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). We need more signs. Why? We were in North Carolina at the Steak and Shake (a treat for us at the time). While exiting, my oldest walks straight into the freshly cleaned glass and was catapulted back into the store with hands and feet flying. If there was a sign…well, she probably would have still walked into the glass.
If there are more signs, we could have more to read while we are standing in line for our triple heart attack covered in heart attack sauce. I think restaurants should post the nutritional information on the floor in big letters. Maybe then, you will order the bunny foofoo meal instead.
Remember, “Do not eat toner” -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer and "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
What brought me to this topic? Well, yesterday on the front page of the Chicago Sun-Times I had the great pleasure of seeing this. Apparently, the local police department became really tired of having to stop people, so they said “we mean it.” If you blow by this sign, we will duct tape you to the front of a school bus.I also think some warnings are an absolute waste of time and effort and really considers us stupid. Take for instance the container of salt (go ahead, go look) high in Sodium. Really? Damn. I was hoping for the low-sodium salt. How about the tag on the hair dryer that says, “Do not use in shower.” Huh? If I am in the shower, my intention is to get my hair wet, not try to dry. Anyone who uses a hair dryer in the shower deserves to be electrocuted. Just adding a little chlorine to the gene pool.
Being a technoweenie, I love the one I found on the instruction manual of the cordless phone, “can cause electrocution if used during a thunderstorm.” Does anyone else see a problem with this? HOW will it electrocute me? Off the 4.5V battery in the handset? We are not talking about copper wire to a handset anymore.
Some signs can be confusing though. Take for instance highway signs. Last year, the Queen hopped into the van with the kids to go visit her cousin some 1000 miles away. There is an entire story wrapped in this trip, but I don’t think Xanga has enough web space. Anyway, after I landed in San Francisco, my wife calls me to inform me she is in Missouri. After being totally baffled as to why she decided to take 4 kids on a solo trip vertically across the U.S., she asked me why the signs in Missouri never have the state highway number.
Thoroughly confused, I had her try to describe it to me. She couldn’t. It wasn’t until I flew down to rescue her (she couldn’t drive back that far), that I finally figured out what she was talking about. It was this…
I then explained to her that the state of Missouri is very closely shaped just like the thing wrapped around the number. She looked at me like she wanted to duct tape me. The number was the state road number. We laughed. Well, I laughed. (She is going to hurt me...I know it).
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). We need more signs. Why? We were in North Carolina at the Steak and Shake (a treat for us at the time). While exiting, my oldest walks straight into the freshly cleaned glass and was catapulted back into the store with hands and feet flying. If there was a sign…well, she probably would have still walked into the glass.
If there are more signs, we could have more to read while we are standing in line for our triple heart attack covered in heart attack sauce. I think restaurants should post the nutritional information on the floor in big letters. Maybe then, you will order the bunny foofoo meal instead.
Remember, “Do not eat toner” -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer and "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
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