Weddings, Funerals, and Ceremony
Before I start on my rant, I would like to thank everyone for reading. I have written down all of your ideas for future blogs about the funnest room in every building, but I figured I shouldn't press my luck with that one room all month long. I will rotate through all of the different chaotic thoughts in my head and we will come back to them later. Just keep in mind there are a lot of bathroom topics in the future to include: Courtesy flush, Putting the seat down, peeing in the shower, sink traps, digestive problems, urinals, the term "John", duct tape and portable potties.
This blog is started by my daughter, Shae. Thank you, Shae.
She came up to me yesterday and informed me that not only is she extremely motivated for US (me and Andi) to have another child, but she wants US to have another wedding. Why? Well, she missed the first one. Normally this would not be an issue as most people have their kids after they have been married. For her though, she was 10 and she feels that she should have been invited. To be honest, it wasn’t that we didn’t invite her, it was that we didn’t invite anyone.
I think Andi (QueenSuchAndSuch) would also like to have a “real” wedding. She has hinted to it many times.
To be honest, none of my wives had the elaborate ceremony. My first wife and I were married by the base chaplain in a room about the size of my bathroom. We had our next door neighbors stand as witnesses. With Andi, we were married in a JPs house in the neighboring town with our neighbors standing as witnesses (hmm...a trend). I am a minimalist.
I personally am not a huge fan of weddings, funerals or otherwise. It is not the grandeur of the ceremony, nor the rockin party afterwards, it is the thousands of dollars spent for a single day. Yes, I am cheap.
Old friends of ours spent around $16,000 on their very special day. The had wedding photos, they had the church wedding with the long expensive wedding dress, they had a reception (a.k.a. party) afterward with dozens of people, they really don’t like, drinking and eating their money away. Does this mean the marriage was destined for greatness? No. They are going through a divorce right now with kids in the mix. I understand that there is a value for the experience, but how much? Would you be willing to pay $16,000 for a night in a hotel? If so, come to my house and I will only charge you $8,000 and treat you like royalty. Don’t you think they wish they could have all of that money back again?
Wedding Dress $1600
Rented Tux $150
Dresses for maids $1600
Bachelor Party $300
Bachelorette Party $900
Church $500
Reception Hall $500
Catering $8000
Florals and accessories $3500
Or
Wedding by JP $150
Not having to go in hock Priceless
I could use that amount of money for other things…like a car…with four wheels…and ten cases of duct tape in the back. I can’t imagine spending that much money for ceremony. Isn’t it enough that I love my wife with all of my heart, body and soul? Isn’t it enough that if I were faced with a bullet to myself or my wife, I would gladly take the bullet?
When my first wife died, the mortician asked me if I wanted her cremated in a cardboard box or a wooden casket. My first thought was "huh?" He attempted to explain to me that some people want to have their loved ones cremated in the elegance of a wooden casket. Huh? So I had to make sure I heard him right by providing him my summary of interpretation…”So, let me understand what you are saying. You are telling me that people who cremate their loved one, purchase the $1200 wooden box for you to just burn it in the fire rather than the $60 cardboard box?” He responds with “I guess that means you are not interested?” The next thing he sees is my “are you crazy” face. It is at that point he realizes that I don’t have sucker tattooed on my forehead and he mumbles “nooo.”
If it weren’t for the fact that it is now illegal to bury someone this way, I would have Andi shove me into a cardboard box, duct tape it, and stick in the nearest field. Instead, I have asked that she cremate me (in a cardboard box of course), have my ashes placed in a cardboard box with duct tape, and throw me in Lake Michigan (with my luck, that also is illegal).
This brings me to my point (as I always have one). At what point did a wedding require the formality that we see today? Why the expensive funeral? After all, they are dead. Why is it, Brad and Jen spent all of that money on a huge wedding and it didn’t pay off any better than the people who get married on a whim? Save the money! Use it for the expenses you are going to incur on other things like, cars repairs, duct tape, house repairs, duct tape, girl scout cookies and ... your daughter’s wedding.
So, how much money did you lose on your wedding? Was it worth it?
This blog is started by my daughter, Shae. Thank you, Shae.
She came up to me yesterday and informed me that not only is she extremely motivated for US (me and Andi) to have another child, but she wants US to have another wedding. Why? Well, she missed the first one. Normally this would not be an issue as most people have their kids after they have been married. For her though, she was 10 and she feels that she should have been invited. To be honest, it wasn’t that we didn’t invite her, it was that we didn’t invite anyone.
I think Andi (QueenSuchAndSuch) would also like to have a “real” wedding. She has hinted to it many times.
To be honest, none of my wives had the elaborate ceremony. My first wife and I were married by the base chaplain in a room about the size of my bathroom. We had our next door neighbors stand as witnesses. With Andi, we were married in a JPs house in the neighboring town with our neighbors standing as witnesses (hmm...a trend). I am a minimalist.
I personally am not a huge fan of weddings, funerals or otherwise. It is not the grandeur of the ceremony, nor the rockin party afterwards, it is the thousands of dollars spent for a single day. Yes, I am cheap.
Old friends of ours spent around $16,000 on their very special day. The had wedding photos, they had the church wedding with the long expensive wedding dress, they had a reception (a.k.a. party) afterward with dozens of people, they really don’t like, drinking and eating their money away. Does this mean the marriage was destined for greatness? No. They are going through a divorce right now with kids in the mix. I understand that there is a value for the experience, but how much? Would you be willing to pay $16,000 for a night in a hotel? If so, come to my house and I will only charge you $8,000 and treat you like royalty. Don’t you think they wish they could have all of that money back again?
Wedding Dress $1600
Rented Tux $150
Dresses for maids $1600
Bachelor Party $300
Bachelorette Party $900
Church $500
Reception Hall $500
Catering $8000
Florals and accessories $3500
Or
Wedding by JP $150
Not having to go in hock Priceless
I could use that amount of money for other things…like a car…with four wheels…and ten cases of duct tape in the back. I can’t imagine spending that much money for ceremony. Isn’t it enough that I love my wife with all of my heart, body and soul? Isn’t it enough that if I were faced with a bullet to myself or my wife, I would gladly take the bullet?
When my first wife died, the mortician asked me if I wanted her cremated in a cardboard box or a wooden casket. My first thought was "huh?" He attempted to explain to me that some people want to have their loved ones cremated in the elegance of a wooden casket. Huh? So I had to make sure I heard him right by providing him my summary of interpretation…”So, let me understand what you are saying. You are telling me that people who cremate their loved one, purchase the $1200 wooden box for you to just burn it in the fire rather than the $60 cardboard box?” He responds with “I guess that means you are not interested?” The next thing he sees is my “are you crazy” face. It is at that point he realizes that I don’t have sucker tattooed on my forehead and he mumbles “nooo.”
If it weren’t for the fact that it is now illegal to bury someone this way, I would have Andi shove me into a cardboard box, duct tape it, and stick in the nearest field. Instead, I have asked that she cremate me (in a cardboard box of course), have my ashes placed in a cardboard box with duct tape, and throw me in Lake Michigan (with my luck, that also is illegal).
This brings me to my point (as I always have one). At what point did a wedding require the formality that we see today? Why the expensive funeral? After all, they are dead. Why is it, Brad and Jen spent all of that money on a huge wedding and it didn’t pay off any better than the people who get married on a whim? Save the money! Use it for the expenses you are going to incur on other things like, cars repairs, duct tape, house repairs, duct tape, girl scout cookies and ... your daughter’s wedding.
So, how much money did you lose on your wedding? Was it worth it?
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