Soup and Crackers

I have been placed on a self-imposed soup and crackers lunch diet. This follows the not-so self-imposed no breakfast rule. Let me back up a little.

Sometime this month, my wife (QueenSuchandSuch) plans to probably take the kids to maybe her mother's back in Virginia. She also might drop off the older kids at their Aunt's house in Maryland that they may not know about until we could maybe even tell them. I am only sure of one thing...I have to drive a different vehicle from the spacepod back here.

Now that I have totally confused everyone as much as I am confused...let me explain. The Queen has made tentative plans to have me drive everyone to Maryland and Virginia and drive back the pickup truck that her Mom has been gracious enough to GIVE us. The last I heard, she is staying back to visit with her family for two weeks.

Of course, this plan changes on an hourly basis, so I am not sure who, what, when, where or how the trip is laid out. I can only guess I will know what the plan is when I am driving the spacepod toward Oregon instead of Virginia. I have only myself to blame though. I tell her that when she finally makes up her mind and she is ready to start to let me know what I am suppose to do.

In order to pay for this expedition half way across the United States, I have to trim my expenses. Lunches out are gone. Breakfast is gone. I drink hot tea from the free tea machine and have soup and saltines for lunch. I am actually getting more out of this self-imposed change of eating habits than saving a boatload of hard-earned cash. I am losing weight by watching calories and I am rapidly becoming a canned soup food critic.

Here is what I have discovered:

The can of ready-to-serve homestyle chicken noodle soup from Target costs about a $1.50 each can. Each can has two servings...Who decides that the can is two servings? I can't even imagine eating only half of the can, so I eat both halves. Each serving is 90 calories and since I eat the whole can, that it 180 calories. Not bad and it tastes pretty good.

All soups are not made alike. The same brand of soup in the homestyle chicken and dumpling variety is 230 calories per serving. Considering I hated this soup and had a hard time keeping my tea down while I tried to eat about 1/4 can, I think I ended up with a lower calorie intake, but was hungry again in an hour. I have another can in my cabinet that I will have to do some serious blackmarket soup trading. "I will give you half a sleeve of Saltines if you will trade me for that can of creamy tomato."

Which brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). What do we know about the food we eat at restaurants? Now that I have been souping it for a week, I feel like I don't eat nearly as much as I used to and I spend more time clearing out my colon.

Did you know...

Fast food provider Hardee's has a Monster Thickburger with 1,410 calories, 107 grams of fat and 2740mg of Sodium?

What makes the restaurants think this is a good idea?

Director of Hardee's product development: "Let's make a sandwich bigger than people should ever eat and as unhealthy as possible. That way, when we get sued for providing and promoting unhealthy eating like McDonald's did, our customers will have a heart-attack before reaching court."

CEO of Hardee's: "Excellent Idea!"

Director of quality health products for Hardee's: "Don't you think we could make a product out of kelp and seaweed for those people who would rather kill innocent plants? Don't we want our customers to live a long and prosperous life so we can stay in business?"

CEO of Hardee's: "You are fired!"

We always slam the do-good treehugging health addicts. OK, off to see HP.

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