Unveiling the mystery
Why can’t women ever put the seat back up? I know, the women reading all just thought “What?!” But really, why can’t women put the seat up? Is their arm broken? Do they not understand how much easier it makes it for us men to not have to bend over and lift it to the proper saluting position?
Men only sit on the toilet every sixth or seventh time so it only makes sense to have it up all of the time (especially if your house is mainly male). I remember living in the dorms and having a woman use our toilet. She left it down. Think of all of the confusion when the next guy went in there and HAD to put it back up.
The Queen once asked me why can’t men ever leave the toilet seat down. It is actually a courtesy that we lift the seat. Why would we care if we pee all over the seat? Women are the ones that have to sit on it. You should appreciate the fact that we actually lift the darn thing. I would suspect in runningslow’s house, the seat would remain up with the husband and son both using it. However, when the daughter starts making use of the facilities, mathematically, it makes sense to have it down.
What is with women and those fuzzy seat covers? Who wants to pee in front of a guillotine, much less a pink fuzzy one? All the extra fuzz makes it impossible for the toilet seat to stay up properly. You either have to be talented enough to hold it up with one hand while peeing, or you have to really test your aiming and control skills.
This is how most men have to deal with the dreaded fuzzy toilet seat cover. One foot is firmly planted on the floor while the other is placed squarely on the toilet seat holding it firmly against the tank (this explains the shoeprint). Depending on which handed the person is, one hand is firmly gripping something like the empty toilet paper dispenser to prevent falling while the other is aiming for the target.
Why don’t we change the toilet paper while we are in there? Well, we can’t grip the dispenser as easily if the toilet paper is on it. Besides, we only need the TP every sixth or seventh time. It is the women that use it every time.
While MOST women need fuzzy toilet seat covers to avoid having to sit on a cold toilet seat, men are fortunate enough to have built-in cushioning on their bums (a.k.a. hair).
This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why is it women can’t live by the majority rules? If you live in a household or even if you are stopping by someone elses house and they have a majority of males, put the seat back up. If you live there, quit whining about the seat being up in the middle of the night and turn on the bloody light! You should expect the seat to be up. Hasn’t anyone ever heard the term “When in Rome?”
As for my house, I learned a long time ago…just sit down. I am the ONLY male in a house of six (now five). The seat remains down.
Did you know…
One of pitcher Nolan Ryan’s jockstraps recently sold at auction for $25,000.
Comments
NOW, that said: Seat Down is the "default" position for the toilet BECAUSE it is the only "shared" position between the genders. It doesn't matter that you only "need" it down every 7th time or whatever. There is a "universal" position for the toilet seat that you and your wife share. It's that simple. If you both used the toilet with the seat up, then that would be how they would be designed--to look best in that position. They're not. That's it, no great conspiracy!
Fuzzy seats, I cannot speak for. Besides being ugly, that's just gross. I'd be wanting to boil them in lye soap every single day. At least a hard seat can be disinfected.
Fuzzy seats? Ugh, that's just gross.